When we think of parenting, it’s easy to picture the destination; well-raised children who know the Lord, carry godly values that matter, and grow into responsible, grounded adults. That’s the vision. That’s the goal. But in focusing so much on that picture, we can sometimes miss the point of it; we begin to grow anxious, frustrated, or even impatient when the current “reality” doesn’t match that future hope.
If there’s one thing the Lord keeps teaching me, it’s this: the journey is just as important as the destination, if not more. The journey is doing something sacred; to them and to us.
Every bedtime story read in exhaustion…
Every repeated instruction…
Every prayer whispered over a sleeping child…
Every time we say “sorry” to our toddlers because we lost our cool…
Every moment we choose presence over performance…
It all matters. It’s forming us just as much as it’s forming them. God isn’t just raising our children through us, He’s raising us through them too. Hallelujah?
The destination is legacy.
But the journey is discipleship; ours and theirs.
Parenting Isn’t Just About Forming Our Children; It’s About Transforming Us Too
Many times, we talk about how our words, teachings, and prayers are shaping the lives of our children, and they are. But in the same breath, it must be said: we ourselves are being shaped. Every day, in the ordinary moments, in the stretch of raising another soul, we are becoming.
This is why I often say this to parents; before the child comes, make the man.
To be a good parent, you must first be a good child.
To raise someone well, you must first be raised yourself.
And sometimes, God uses parenting to raise the parent.
Because nothing reveals the lack of patience like a toddler in tantrum-mode at bedtime.
Nothing humbles you faster than the realization that your best effort still needs the grace of God.
Nothing teaches you prayer like feeling helpless in the face of a child’s pain or a decision you don’t know how to make.
Honestly? I’ve learned that parenting doesn’t just push you to your limits; it pushes you past them. And in that push, you encounter God in a way you may never have before.
You see, the tantrums, the spills, the sleepless nights; they’re not just hurdles. They’re tools. They’re divine chisels shaping our character as parents and guardians. They’re the curriculum of heaven teaching you love, joy, peace, patience, kindness… all the fruit of the Spirit you thought you already had; until you had to live it at 3 a.m when your baby just won’t sleep!. Because truly, you can’t teach patience from theory; you live it o.
You can’t model love unless you know what it means to give it even when you’re depleted. And you can’t pass on peace until you’ve wrestled for it in prayer at the feet of God, learning that you’re not the ultimate savior, He is.
The Journey of Parenting is a call to Christlikeness.
I’ve learned not to be easily offended. Parenting has a way of teaching you that. It shows you how to love unconditionally, how to not take everything personally, and how to see beyond the moment.
I’ve had to learn to let go of the frustration when my children don’t answer me right away. Before, if a child didn’t respond when I called, I might have assumed they were being rude or disrespectful. But now, with my own little ones, I find myself calling them multiple times, sometimes they still don’t answer. Not because they’re trying to be rude, but because they’re testing boundaries, exploring authority. This is when I remember that it’s my job to teach them honor and respect, rather than dismissing them as ill-mannered. They’re mine, and I can’t just throw them aside.
You see, before I had children, I loved children, but only the perfect ones… I thought I could only handle the ideal, well-behaved child. But raising my own has opened my eyes to the deeper reality of love. Now, I have to love mine; both in their perfection and imperfection.
And in this, God has shown me a reflection of how we relate to Him and how much He has had to endure with us. Despite our flaws, despite all the times we test His patience, He still loves us and persistently leads us forward.
Children are like mirrors. They reflect not only who they are but also who we are or have been. Have you ever looked at a child and thought, “This child reminds me of myself when I was young,” or has someone close to you, maybe someone who raised you, ever said that to you? That’s because they reveal to us our strengths, our flaws, and everything in between.
So, parenting is as much about the transformation of the parent as it is about the child.
You begin by praying for your child, and soon you’re the one being discipled.
You pour out love expecting nothing in return, and find yourself learning how God loves you.
You come to the end of yourself, again and again, until you finally say, “Lord, I don’t gat this o. But You do.” And maybe that’s the point all along.
Because the best version of us isn’t the perfect, well-put-together parent. It’s the yielded one. The one being transformed by the daily invitation to lean, not on our own strength, but on His. So yes, the destination matters, but the journey matters even more.
As you reflect on your own parenting journey, I encourage you to pause and consider: How has God used your children to shape you? What lessons have you learned through the moments of struggle, patience, and unconditional love?
Take a moment to thank Him for the ways He’s refining you, and for the opportunity to walk this transformative path alongside your little ones. And if you’re a parent in the midst of it all, remember; God is right there with you, shaping you as much as you are shaping your children.
