“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6)
There’s something I’ve been reflecting on lately as I raise my children and observe other children: the importance of teaching them to ask for things instead of simply reaching out and taking whatever they want. The more I thought about it, the more I realized: many times, stealing doesn’t start as stealing. It rarely begins with, “I want to be a thief.” I’m not excusing stealing, but it’s very possible that many were never taught boundaries early enough, or at all.
It often starts with habitual “taking without permission” that was never corrected or properly explained. It starts when a child isn’t taught to ask, and is simply allowed to take. At first, it’s just little hands reaching for what they want. But over time, it becomes a habit:
“If I see it and I want it, I take it.”No permission. No asking. No honoring.
When a child isn’t trained to respect ownership, by the time they leave home, it becomes reflex:
- “If I see it and I want it, I take it.”
- “I have no internal governor that tells me to stop and ask.”
And when they realize society frowns on it?
They simply switch to “hide and take.”
What began innocently becomes full-blown stealing, not necessarily because they are fundamentally evil, but because self-restraint and honor weren’t built in.
Self-control doesn’t just magically appear, not in a child, not even in an adult. It must be taught, practiced, and intentionally built. It’s instilled through teaching, consistent correction, and prayer. After all, how can they know what they’ve never been taught?
Training the Flesh: Teaching Small Self-Control Moments
Recently, my son, who previously didn’t eat much, started eating a lot. It felt like he needed all the food he could get for some growth spurt he was about to undergo. I mean, I loved seeing him eat so well! But I also knew I had to teach him contentment and to eat appropriately, not just because he felt like eating.
So, if he had breakfast around 9 a.m. and then saw an apple and asked for it, I would tell him, “No, wait until 11 a.m. or 12 p.m.” Not because it’s wrong to eat apple, but because I’m trying to teach him something much bigger. I know it might seem small; after all, “it’s just an apple”, but honestly, it’s so much bigger. What I am teaching him in that small moment is:
- Restraint: Just because I want it now doesn’t mean I must have it now.
- Structure: There are rhythms and seasons for things.
- Trust: I can trust that Mummy will give me good things at the right time.
This is training the flesh and disciplining desires, and it forms part of the solid foundation for a godly life. We are not just raising toddlers, we are raising tomorrow’s citizens, husbands, wives, leaders, ministers.
Look at how the Bible describes someone who lacks self-control: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
The Importance of Early Boundary Training
Sometimes, the issue isn’t only a lack of boundaries, it’s a lack of contentment.
Some children were given everything they asked for.
Every whim, every desire is instantly satisfied.
They never learned to hear “No.”
They never learned that you don’t always get what you want.
They never learned the beauty of gratitude.
And so they grew up hungry for more, always more, never satisfied, never settled.
How Do We Raise Children Differently?
Many children who struggle with greed, stealing, or chronic dissatisfaction were never taught contentment. 1 Timothy 6:6 says: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
Children must learn early:
- You don’t get everything you want.
- It’s good to ask, even for small things.
Saying, “Please, can I have this?” should be normal, not strange. - It’s okay to desire things, but better to be grateful for what you have.
- Your worth is not measured by your possessions.
- Other people’s “more” does not mean your “less.”
Teach them to celebrate what they already own, their shoes, lunchbox, books. - Model it yourself: Let them hear you say things like, “I really wanted a new phone, but I’m grateful for the one I have.”
Teach them that while God gives freely, He also trains us to ask, wait, be grateful, and honor Him. Their hearts should be rich toward God, not just toward “stuff.” Luke 12:15:“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.“
Ways to Teach Contentment and Self-Control
- Teach gratitude intentionally:
Pause often to say, “Let’s thank God for what we have.”
Regularly have “moments of thanksgiving”:
“Let’s each thank God for three things we have!” - Teach delayed gratification:
Sometimes, delay giving something good, like an apple, not because the apple is bad, but because they need to learn self-control. - Delay gratification together:
Sometimes, intentionally delay buying something fun and explain why.
Teach them the joy of waiting well. - Use storytelling:
Use Bible stories like the Israelites craving quail (Numbers 11) to show what happens when we aren’t content. - Don’t be too quick to upgrade things:
Teach them to love and maintain their shoes, lunchboxes, toys; to repair things when possible, not just throw them away. This is not stinginess, it’s training for maturity.
If we don’t teach them the discipline of satisfaction, the world will teach them the addiction of endless wanting, that’s a dangerous thing.
The Bigger Picture
We are not just teaching manners.
We are not just raising “well-behaved” kids.
We are training their spirits to understand the ways of God.
- God wants us to ask, not grab.
- God teaches us to seek, not steal.
- God calls us to wait, not worry.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…” (James 1:17)
When we teach our children to ask, wait, and be content, we are training them to live in sync with God.
We are shaping their ability to walk in trust, honor, gratitude, and peace, not just with men, but with God.
So, dear parent, know this: you are building men and women of honor, children who will not steal, hide, or crave endlessly but who will trust, wait, ask, and walk in the blessing of God. You are sowing seeds now that will become mighty trees later.
It might seem “small” just teaching them to ask, just teaching them to wait for an apple, but you are training their spirits, emotions, and future manhood/womanhood. You are teaching them to be true sons and daughters, not entitled orphans at heart.
And guess what?
When they grow, God will trust them with more, because they would have learned how to honor, wait, ask, and be content. Luke 16:10 says: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much…”
If you haven’t already started, now is the perfect time. At first, they might resist it. If they are used to getting what they want when they ask. It might be hard for them, they may even resent you for it. But trust me, they’ll be grateful for the boundaries you set as they grow.
I always say:
Be your child’s parent first before being their friend.
If it means enduring a few quiet days or cold shoulders, pay the price now, and you’ll secure a solid foundation for your child’s future.❤️
