“For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.” (1 Corinthians 7:14, NLT)
In our bathroom, we have a shower set and a regular faucet in the hand basin. For some strange reason, whenever you turn on the faucet, the shower set also comes on. Even after we changed the shower set, nothing changed. So over time, we’ve just gotten used to it and often laugh it off whenever our minds wander to it.
Recently, my husband wanted to wash his hands, and as usual, the shower began to run along with the faucet. Then he cracked a joke that left me rolling with laughter. He said, “These two taps are emotionally connected.”
We laughed hard, but afterwards I couldn’t shake it off. I thought about it, and just as it is typical of natural things to explain spiritual things, the Holy Spirit began to whisper to me that what we just laughed over could explain many spiritual truths, especially the profound truth about how God sees relationships.
The Spiritual Lesson
There are connections in life that are invisible yet very real – like the hidden pipes linking those taps. What happens to one inevitably affects the other. This is exactly how God sees a man and woman joined together in marriage. When you made the decision to marry your spouse, you entered into more than just a union before men—you became one flesh before God. Genesis 2:24 says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
God doesn’t see two individuals merely co-existing; He sees one life, one body, one destiny. When one shines, the light spills over to the other. When one stumbles, the other feels the weight. This is why if you think harm toward your spouse, you are thinking harm toward yourself. If you wish your spouse ill, you are wishing yourself ill. And if you hurt your spouse, though the pain may not return to you immediately, you are still hurting yourself.
Nabal and Abigail
In the story of Nabal and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25, Nabal was harsh and arrogant. When David’s men approached him with a peaceful request, he repaid their kindness with insults. His foolishness provoked David to march out with four hundred men determined to wipe out every male in Nabal’s household. Nabal’s folly wasn’t about to cost only him. His entire family was marked for destruction because of his reckless behavior!
But Abigail, his wife, rose with wisdom. She gathered food, met David on the way, humbled herself, and spoke peace. Through her swift and discerning action, she saved not only her husband’s life in that moment but also preserved the destiny of her entire household.
The Weight of Our Choices
This shows us the profound reality of marriage: your spouse feels the weight of your choices. Your words can either heal or wound them. Your discipline or carelessness can either shield them or expose them. Your faith can either lift your home or weaken it.
Like those taps, your marriage is connected by hidden pipes. When one runs, the other feels it. What you pour into the connection – love, humility, pride, anger, patience, flows through to your spouse. So love, care for, and nurture your spouse as you would yourself – because in truth, that is exactly what you are doing.
You cannot live as though your life is separate from your spouse’s. Every decision has a ripple effect, for better or for worse. When you choose wisdom, humility, and faith, you secure more than yourself, you preserve your home.
I encourage you to think on these questions:
- In what areas of your life do you sometimes forget that your actions directly affect your spouse?
- Are there ways your spouse has suffered or benefited from your past choices?
- What intentional step can you take today to ensure you are pouring life and blessing into your marriage connection?
As you read, I pray that you will always remember that your actions and inactions affect not only you but also your spouse.
May your words and choices be life-giving.
I pray that God will clothe you with wisdom and humility like that of Abigail, so that your marriage will reflect His design of unity, peace, and blessing.
Amen.
