When I look around, I sometimes find myself troubled. I see mothers who dress decently, who cover themselves well, who appear to honor God with their bodies. Yet when I look at their little girls, I am confused. The skirt is as skimpy as it gets. The gown looks as if the fabric finished at the market. The top is so exposing that you wonder if it was picked with intentionality or just out of carelessness.
And the question rings loudly in my heart: Why?
Do parents forget that children also look in the mirror?
Do they forget that children are not just wearing the clothes but are silently forming an identity around what they see in the mirror?
Dear Mom and Dad, children look in the mirror too. When they see themselves dressed indecently, they begin to build a pattern of what they consider beautiful and acceptable. They may not say it out loud, but their hearts are recording it. If a child constantly sees herself in clothes that reveal too much, she begins to believe that beauty lies in exposure. By the time she grows into her teenage years, she will have already developed an affinity for skimpy clothes, because that was what “looked good” on her when she was younger.
The Bible is clear about the power of training. “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Dressing is part of “the way.” What you normalize for them at two will shape what they consider normal at twelve, and eventually at twenty-two.
Modeling and Consistency
This is not just theory for me. I have seen it play out with my own sons. From the time they were little, I made it a point to ensure they were well dressed; always neat, always looking good, even if it was just a casual outing. I also made sure they were well dressed indoors. To me, it is not just about public appearances. It is about the culture we are building at home.
I work within our means. I do not go beyond what we can afford, but I make sure we maintain what we have so it doesn’t wear out easily. I pay attention to their shoes, their shirts, even their bathroom slippers. I refuse to let things get shabby before replacing them.
And you know where I learned this from? My dad!
Lessons from My Father
My father was one man you never caught looking shabby. He was always fresh, always dressed well, always neat. He raised me to appreciate clothes and shoes, and he would often say, “We dress the way we want to be addressed.”
He told me something that stayed with me: “If you want to know how much a man is worth, look at his shoes. No matter how flashy his clothes are, if his shoes are neglected, what he wears upwards becomes questionable.”
That shaped me. To this day, I cannot let even my slippers get too worn out before I change them. I learned to maintain both the little and the much I had.
Passing It Down
Now I see my first son picking it up naturally. He has such a keen eye for shoes that he can walk into a store and single-handedly pick the best pair in his size. And this did not start yesterday. It started when I was intentional about dressing him well, letting him wear nice shoes and clothes, even within our budget.
I also gave him the freedom to make choices. From as early as one year old, I would let him pick what he wanted to wear. I remember his first birthday photoshoot: I held up two lovely shirts, and he confidently picked the green one. Over the years, his confidence in picking has only grown. Today, I have no doubt he will always pick well because he saw it modeled and was raised in it.
Where Parents Miss It
So why do parents fail in this area with their daughters?
- Some think children’s clothes are “just playthings” and do not matter.
- Some are carried away by cultural fashion trends that push indecency even for little girls.
- Some want their children to “fit in” with peers, so they bend.
- Others simply can’t be bothered, they lack intentionality and do not realize the long-term effects.
What you dress them in today is what they will learn to love tomorrow. You cannot expect a child who has grown up seeing beauty in exposure to suddenly love modesty at sixteen. It is inconsistent, and children are quick to spot inconsistency.
Jesus said, “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven”(Matthew 5:16). That light includes the example we set for our children.
The Legacy of Appearance
The Bible also says, “Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil” (Ecclesiastes 9:8). Beyond its symbolic meaning, this scripture shows the value of maintaining dignity, neatness, and freshness in presentation.
Decency in dressing is not old-fashioned; it is wisdom from God. It speaks dignity, it preserves identity, and it sets a standard. When we dress our children with care, we are telling them, “You are valuable. You are worth covering. You are worth presenting with dignity.”
So….
Parents, please, let us stop the contradiction. If we dress decently but clothe our children in indecency, we are confusing them. We are professing one thing but acting differently. Our children deserve consistency, and they deserve to be taught the beauty of modesty.
As you model decency, extend it to them. As you maintain what you wear, teach them to do the same. As you look good within your means, let them also learn to present themselves well within theirs.
What you train them to value at five is what they will live by at fifteen. Sow modesty now, and reap dignity later.
