"Yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live, and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live" (1 Corinthians 8:6).
Recently, I caught the low-cut vibe. I had been toying with the idea for a while, so one morning, I woke up and thought, You know what Let’s go for it. Let’s do the big chop.
Not long after, another thought followed. Maybe I should dye it, something subtle yet beautiful. Dark brown? Burgundy? Something vintage and classy you know…
As I held these thoughts in my heart, I heard the Holy Spirit say, ‘That is not necessarily a bad idea’. I smiled, relieved. But then He continued, ‘Yet, it is absolutely not okay’. If you could hear my thoughts, you would have heard how loudly I screamed whyyyy??!
He said, Not necesarily because it is a sin, but because of who you are and what you represent.
If you know my husband, you would know he is quite free-spirited, not your typical traditional man. So naturally, I thought to myself, Surely, I must be overthinking this. I will ask him if he is okay with it, and whatever he says, I will go with it.
To my absolute shock, he responded, No, TJ. Think about the church. Haaaa!
And just like that, he summarized my entire back-and-forth conversation with the Holy Spirit in one sentence. Niceee… best in giving summaries.. While I was still trying to explain how subtle the colors I had in mind were, he simply said, No.
Just like that. Case closed.
A Call to Higher Standards as Servants of Christ
As the wife of a man actively ministering the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ full time, there is a certain way I ought to present myself, not for the approval of men but to uphold the standard of modesty and decency that pleases God. Whether I like it or not, there are people who will look up to me simply because of my role. The truth is, my choices do not exist in isolation and I am happy and content with that.
Now, I know some might say, Really? Why are you shaping your life around others? Why not just do what makes you happy?.
But here is the thing. When you become a servant of Christ, your life is no longer just about you. You do not live to gratify your flesh or for yourself, but to glorify your Master, Jesus Christ.
And this goes beyond just hair or fashion choices. In all our decisions, whether about our appearance, speech, or conduct, we must always ask ourselves, Is my liberty drawing others closer to Christ, or is it leading them away?. Because in the end, the goal is not to do us but to do Him.
There are times I get dressed, take a look in the mirror, and hear the Holy Spirit say, Absolutely not. You can do better, Toju. The leggings are fine, but pair them with a longer top that covers well.
It is not about condemnation but about refinement. It is an invitation to a higher standard. Not because God is trying to police my wardrobe but because He cares about how I represent Him. Besides, is my body not His temple? (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
The Holy Spirit went on to remind me of these scriptures: for the wives of ministers specifically: “Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.” (1 Timothy 3:11:).
1 Timothy 2:9-10: “In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.”
1 Peter 3:3-4: “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
The Weight of Our Influence
In 1 Corinthians 8, Apostle Paul summarily said, Just because you understand your liberty and freedom in Christ does not mean everyone else does.
Yes, we have immense freedom in Christ, but that freedom was never meant to be a license to sin or an excuse to do whatever comes to mind. Paul says, “But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak” (1 Corinthians 8:9).
Our knowledge and liberty should never come at the cost of another believer’s faith. Instead, we are called to walk in love, considering how our actions might affect those around us. Romans 15:2 says, “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.”
There are things that are not sinful in themselves, but when we do them, they can send the wrong message to unbelievers, new converts, or believers who are struggling in their faith. And when that happens, we become accountable. (1 Corinthians 8:12, 10:23).
Paul said, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things edify” (1 Corinthians 10:23). Just because I can do something does not always mean I should.
Called to a Life of Consideration
We are called to a life of consideration, a life of love, and genuine concern for the souls around us. And if that means letting go of certain personal freedoms for the sake of another’s faith, then so be it.
I believe this is at the very heart of what Jesus meant when He said, “Woe to anyone who causes one of these little ones to stumble.” I believe He was not just referring to children but to believers generally, including those who are old, new, or struggling to stand firm. Jesus made it clear that leading someone into sin, whether by our actions, words, or example, is a serious offense. He even said, “It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble” (Luke 17:2).
I believe that, for example, if a woman’s conduct can lead a man to faith in Christ, then it certainly can also lead another man away from it. Our lives preach a louder sermon than our words ever could. (1 Peter 3:1-2).
We must never take lightly the influence we have. Every action, every word, every decision, whether we realize it or not, is either pointing people toward Christ or away from Him. Let us choose to be a light that guides others to the truth rather than a distraction that turns them away. Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Paul said “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27). If our lives and words do not align, we risk becoming a stumbling block rather than a light.
People are always watching, especially unbelievers and younger believers. Our daily choices, how we dress, how we speak, and how we respond to challenges, are all a reflection of what we truly believe.
This is exactly why Paul chose to work and earn a living rather than rely on the church for support. He understood that even though he had every right to be taken care of as a minister of the gospel, he would rather lay down that right if it meant removing any obstacle to someone receiving Christ.
He said, “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible” (1 Corinthians 9:19). This is what it truly means to live not for ourselves, but for God, the One who purchased us at the highest price.
Is the Gospel Precious Enough to You?(1 Corinthians 10:31)
Paul made it clear: “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:24, 9:22).
In fact, he outright stated that he tried to please everyone in every way, not for his own benefit, but so that many might be saved (1 Corinthians 10:32-33).
This is why, when believers travel to a Muslim majority country, they dress in a way that aligns with the cultural expectations of the people, not because they are bound by law, but because they understand that their appearance can either open or close the door for the gospel. It is not about losing their identity, it is about gaining access to hearts.
Now, imagine traveling to a country like Sudan or Pakistan, insisting on your freedom by leaving your hair uncovered, wearing trousers, or parading yourself in short skirts. Well… let us just say you would be explaining in person to God what you were thinking a ‘few moments later’.
So, if you subscribe to the school of “Do you,” “Choose yourself first,” or “Put yourself above all else,” then, dear brethren, you are in the wrong school.
As believers, we belong to the school of dying to self, the school of doing all we can to bring many into the kingdom, of living a life of sacrifice, of surrendering our desires for a greater purpose. We are called to please God above all else, and if that means letting go of certain freedoms so that someone else can be saved, then so be it.
Because, in the end, the most important thing is that we glorify God in all we do or choose not to do (1 Corinthians 10:31).
The gospel is too precious to be hindered by something as trivial as clothing or food.
Our lives should not just preach the gospel, they should protect those who receive it.
