Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever, no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord. So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. (Philemon 1:15-17)
From Paul’s letters and his life before coming to the faith, you can easily tell what kind of man he was. He was not the kind of man who compromised, especially when it came to the quality of the believers he fathered and mentored.
Even now, in his old age, as he wrote this letter alongside Timothy to Philemon, his standards had not dropped. He still upheld what it meant to be a true Christian and a leader in the faith
And then there is Onesimus, a man who was once just a servant in Philemon’s house but had grown so much under Paul’s mentorship. And really, who would not? Paul didn’t just preach; he lived what he taught. He poured his heart into those around him, shaping them into men and women who could carry the gospel with power and integrity. (Philippians 3:17, 1 Corinthians 11:1). The same man who left Philemon’s house as a mere servant had now risen to the rank of a fellow brother and partner in ministry.
I can imagine Paul must have poured so much into him that, if given the choice, he would have kept Onesimus by his side. But Paul, being a man of honor and integrity, knew the right thing to do was to send him back.
Onesimus had grown so much that Paul boldly vouched for him, saying in essence, this man is more than just a servant. He is valuable. He is an asset to anyone or any ministry he joins. At the time Paul was writing this letter, he was not just vouching for Onesimus. He called him son (a word I doubt Paul threw around carelessly).
In fact, he went as far as calling Onesimus his very heart, a man very dear to him. He told Philemon to welcome him not as a servant but as a partner, the same way he would have welcomed Paul himself. If that is not love, I do not know what is. I think if there was ever a man whose words of affirmation could make you feel like you were walking on cloud ten, it would be Paul.
A Journey Into Onesimus’s Mind
As beautiful as all of this is, let us take a moment to step into Onesimus’ mind back when he was first sent to Paul. Paul described him then as: “Formerly, he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.”
Just imagine how Onesimus must have felt before this transformation, like a complete disappointment, like a man who was not good for much, let alone useful to someone like Paul. Like many of us, he probably knew what it felt like to be beaten down by the words of people he once looked up to. When he first arrived at Paul’s side, he was likely uncertain, weighed down by the reality of his past failures. Maybe he was even bitter about how life had turned out.
Imagine the atmosphere he found himself in, surrounded by people hungry for truth, sitting under Paul’s teaching, witnessing firsthand the deep love and wisdom of a man who had encountered Christ so radically.
It is not hard to believe that Onesimus was deeply impacted. Maybe at first, he only listened from the corners of the room, afraid to fully engage. But little by little, the Word of God must have begun to work in him. Maybe he started helping with small tasks, running errands, assisting Paul with his letters, serving the brethren in whatever way he could. And as he served, something in him began to shift.
You are More Than The Rejections You Have Suffered
Day by day, the chains of his past loosened. The more he listened, the more his mind renewed. He started to see that his life was not an accident, that God had a plan for him. That he was not just a runaway slave, he was a man with purpose.
I imagine there must have been a moment, a day he would never forget, when Paul called him “son” for the first time. That single word must have shattered the identity of shame he once carried. The mighty Apostle Paul, the same man who fathered giants in the faith, was calling him son. From that moment on, Onesimus was no longer just a helper; he became a disciple, a trusted companion, someone who was growing into a man of value and honor.
By the time Paul wrote to Philemon, Onesimus was a different man. No longer just a servant, he had become someone Paul described as “his very heart”. He had become so indispensable that Paul had to clarify, “I would have liked to keep him with me… but I did not want to do anything without your consent”.
Onesimus did not stay stuck in his own head. He did not let the weight of failure or the harsh words, whether from himself, others, or the enemy, define him (2 Corinthians 5:17, Isaiah 43:18-19). Instead of drowning in self pity and hate, rose. And not just slightly. He rose so much that he became indispensable.
Key Lessons from the Life of Onesimus
- Growth and maturity make you useful
Do not get upset if you are not given responsibilities where you are, whether in your family, church, or workplace. Instead of sulking, rise. Learn, unlearn, upskill. Prove yourself useful and watch how you will become sought after. Onesimus left Philemon’s house a slave, but by the time he was returning, he had grown so much that he was no longer just a servant. He had become a brother, a partner, and an asset (Luke 16:10, Proverbs 22:29). - Being sent away is not the end. It is a chance to grow
If you ever find yourself let go from a job or asked to leave a ministry, do not waste time drowning in self pity or resentment. Do not sit around blaming leadership or feeling like a victim. Instead, see it for what it really is, a stepping stone. A setup by God. Sometimes, God allows what looks like a setback just so He can launch you further. A catapult has to pull back before it shoots forward. Maybe that is exactly what is happening with you (Romans 8:28, James 1:2-4). - Become so valuable that you cannot be ignored
Wherever you are right now, do not just exist. Grow. Stretch yourself so much that your presence alone commands value. If you grow well, you will not have to force people to see your worth. It will be impossible to overlook you. Jesus Christ said: ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven’. (Matthew 5:16).
This is what it truly means to be indispensable, to be so excellent at what you do that your work speaks for itself.
Jeroboam, at least in the early part of his story in 1 Kings 11, embodied this principle. Before fear and insecurity caused his downfall, there was a season of his life that was undeniably inspiring. I remember reading 1 Kings 11 and feeling the Holy Spirit nudge me to pause and celebrate the man’s attitude at the time. Scripture tells us that Solomon did not elevate Jeroboam because of his background, tribe, or any privileged connections. He saw something far more valuable; he saw that Jeroboam was industrious.
Scripture says in 1 Kings 11:28: “And the man Jeroboam was a mighty man of valor, and Solomon, seeing the young man that he was industrious, made him ruler over all the charge of the house of Joseph.”
Paul said of Onesimus that maybe the reason he was separated from Philemon for a little while was so that he could have him back forever. In other words, maybe this temporary separation was necessary so he could grow, evolve, and become so valuable that Philemon would not just take him back as a servant but as someone he would never want to do life without.
So maybe the same is true for you. Maybe that rejection, that sack letter, or that unexpected transfer was not meant to break you but to push you out of your comfort zone. Maybe God needed you to step away so you could grow, stretch, and become more, so valuable that when you return, you will not just fit in. You will be indispensable (Isaiah 60:1, 2 Corinthians 4:17-18).
What will your story be?
Will you let life happen to you, or will you take what looks like a setback and turn it into proof of your growth?
The truth is, value cannot be ignored. It speaks louder than words. So decide today that you will not just exist, you will grow. You will sharpen yourself until you become so good, so transformed, so excellent at what you do that being overlooked will no longer be an option.
Become that person. Grow until you are indispensable.
