Sometimes, we don’t receive answers to our prayers because we are praying amiss or expecting God to answer in our own way. Praying amiss means our prayers are either misaligned with God’s will for our lives or driven by selfish motives.
Less than two months into marriage, I was surprised to find myself pregnant.
One day, feeling unwell with diarrhea, I ignored my better judgment and the counsel to avoid medications without a doctor’s approval and self-medicated. What seemed like a small decision at the time turned into a devastating loss; I miscarried.
This painful experience taught me a lot about discernment, caution, and the importance of aligning our actions, and even our prayers, with wisdom and God’s guidance.
A few months later, I found myself struggling to conceive. Despite multiple visits to the hospital, I was placed on medication indefinitely to improve my chances of getting pregnant. The prognosis was far from encouraging; I was told to prepare for the possibility of trying for the next three years, if I was fortunate.
One visit to a renowned and highly respected sonographer in Ibadan stands out vividly in my memory. His comments were crushing. After examining me, he said bluntly, “With what I’m seeing, it’s practically impossible for you to get pregnant. In fact, I find it hard to believe you ever conceived in the first place.”
His words cut deep, leaving me feeling hopeless and questioning everything. “What happened to all those promises God gave me long before I got married? Was I just hearing myself; daydreaming or entertaining lofty thoughts and ideas about my children? Did God really speak?”
So many questions filled my heart, all aimed directly at the promises of God and their fulfillment. The warfare within me was as real and intense as my inability to conceive.
I, who had never been desperate to have children, suddenly found myself consumed by the desire. It became the focus of my waking thoughts and nightly prayers. Society only made it worse with their relentless womb-watching and intrusive questions: “When are you going to give us a child?” “Time is running out!” “What are you waiting for?” Like I had the keys to the store room of babies in Heaven.
But in the midst of it all, I thank God for the incredible support system He blessed me with. My in-laws and my husband were unwaveringly gracious and supportive, quite unfazed by societal pressures. Their love and encouragement were sincerely a steady source of strength during such a difficult time.
After weeks of taking medications, countless trips to the lab for ‘progress’ scans, many prayers, and mounting frustrations, I finally reached the end of myself.
One day, I decided I had had enough of the medications. I went for my routine scan, and as expected, the report was just as discouraging as before. I had done everything by the book; taken my medications, cut down on so many foods, avoided eggs, sugary drinks, soda, swallow, and just about everything they said was bad. But still, no luck. In fact, quite frankly, the situation got worse.
But this day was different. God, in His mercy, brought me to a place of complete surrender, to His will, His infinite power, and His grace.
I sat on the floor in the parlor, holding the lab results in my hand, too drained even to cry. Then I prayed, more like I took my pain and burden to God. I said something along the lines of: “Lord, what is going on? I have prayed, fasted, filled myself with Your word, trusted You, and done everything within my power to conceive. Why aren’t my chances improving?”
Then, as though replying to myself, I heard a question in my heart: “Do you think I am unable to give you a child even with this condition? Do you really believe your chances have to medically improve before you can conceive?” This voice, though it sounded like mine, was definitely not mine. It was the Holy Spirit! And I’m so glad I didn’t dismiss it as just my thoughts.
You see, many of us expect the roof to tear open or the doors to fling wide when God speaks. But I don’t think God often likes to be that dramatic. He dwells in our hearts, and if He were to speak with that kind of thunder every time, many of us would probably pass out from the sheer intensity, chests bursting open and all! 😂
God showed Elijah that His presence is often quiet and subtle, rather than loud and dramatic. In 1 Kings 19:11–12, it says:
“Then He said, ‘Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”
God came in a still small voice. Not the wind. Not the earthquake. Not the fire. Just a gentle whisper, enough to let Elijah know He was near.
For the first time, it dawned on me, I had been believing God for a miracle, but on my own terms. I had it all planned out in my head: take the meds, improve the odds, and then get pregnant. I had boxed God into answering me in a specific way, limiting His power to fit within my expectations.
But this is the Almighty God we’re talking about, the Creator of heaven and earth, the One who holds the universe in His hands. The God who owns every beast of the forest and the cattle on a thousand hills. The One whose throne is heaven and whose footstool is the earth. Had I really reduced Him to the confines of my limited imagination of his possibilities?
I felt deeply sorry for trying to force God into doing things my way, but even more grateful for His mercy in helping me see the missing link.
That very month, I conceived! I beat all medical odds in conception and delivery.
So, perhaps what’s hindering you from receiving an answer to your prayer is the expectation that God must respond on your own terms.
Today, I encourage you to trust God to answer you in His perfect way and timing. Trust Him to provide what you need and to answer your prayers in alignment with the beautiful picture He has designed for your life. That picture is perfect and precisely what is best for you.
Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Key Scriptures to Study
James 4:3, Philippians 1:6, Romans 8:28, Galatians 6:9, Ecclesiastes 3:11, Isaiah 55:8-9.
