You said you were done with that habit.
That cycle.
That relationship.
That compromise.
You even testified about it.
Wrote it in your journal.
Told your accountability partner.
You meant it.
But somehow…
Here you are again.
Back in the same loop.
The same browser history.
The same “it’s complicated” conversation.
The same sin you swore off, tears and all.
And now, shame has built a home on your shoulders; thick, heavy… like those ‘shoulder pad’ suit jackets our mothers used to wear.
It’s loud.
It mocks.
It says things like:
“You’re a fraud.”
“You’ll never change.”
“God’s probably tired of you by now.”
Paul Knew This Battle
If anyone ever sounded like they were stuck in this loop, it was Apostle Paul. He said: “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate… Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?” (Romans 7:15, 24) Paul, who wrote half the New Testament, had to confront the war between the flesh and the spirit. What matters isn’t just that he struggled, it’s what he did with the struggle.
Jesus in Gethsemane: The Power of Surrender
Look at Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew what was coming. He felt the full weight of it. Right there in Gethsemane, He didn’t fake strength.
He prayed.
He wept.
He sweated blood.
Scripture says something powerful happened: “Then an angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.” (Luke 22:43)
He prayed until strength came. He surrendered until help arrived. And by the time He rose from that place of prayer, He didn’t come out weak, He came out with the resolve of the Spirit. Our Lord Jesus Christ who just moments earlier said, “If it is possible, take this cup from me” Now says with boldness to His disciples: “Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.” (Matthew 26:46)
The flesh was crucified in prayer. The spirit took over. Victory happened before the cross, in the garden.
The Lesson for Us
We often try to overcome sin or weakness by avoiding it or muscling our way through it. But real power comes when we draw near, when we say, “Lord, I don’t have what it takes, but You do.” Zechariah 4:6 says “Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord.
Each time you lean into God, even with trembling hands and half-whispered prayers, you are giving Him room to strengthen you. And as you keep drawing near, you’ll find that the will of the Spirit begins to override the will of the flesh.
That’s how you kill the flesh.
Not with guilt…
But with surrender.
Not with striving…
But with Spirit-filled resolve. So keep coming. Keep leaning. Keep surrendering. Every time you do, God strengthens you even more.
True Transformation Is a Daily Death
Jesus didn’t say, “Take up your cross once and for all.” He said: “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself daily and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23).
Romans 12:1 says“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”
Real change doesn’t happen in one dramatic moment. It’s a daily dying, a daily “No” to the flesh and “Yes” to the Spirit. It’s feeding your spirit and starving your flesh.
One truth I have discovered which is uncomfortable is this:
Many of us say we want to be free, but we haven’t fully disconnected from what fuels the bondage. Sometimes, the habit continues because we keep giving it room to breathe:
- We scroll past the trigger but don’t block it.
- We leave just a little window open to that person.
- We engage in “harmless” chats or entertainment that stir desires we’re trying to kill.
When the Holy Spirit prompts us to cut it off, we reduce instead of remove and this is exactly how we empower the flesh. Romans 8:13 says “For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.”
Galatians 6:8: “For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.”
Mercy in the Middle of the Cycle
Many people are not really trapped, they are just in transition and transitions feel like war. You’re who Jesus says you are. And this battle is not the end of your story. If all you can do today is say, “Lord, I’m tired… but I still want You,” Then you’re already winning, in fact you are winning because you keep showing up. Proverbs 24:16 says “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.”
Walking in the Spirit: Strength Comes When You Surrender
The enemy wants you to believe that God has given up on you, but nothing could be further from the truth. Even after the 5th, 9th, or 27th time. God is still willing to walk you out of those sinful traps. Paul ended Romans 7 with this shout of hope: “Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25)
You don’t overcome sin by willpower. You overcome by walking in the Spirit. Galatians 5:16 says “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
Here’s something I’ve discovered about walking in the empowerment of the Holy Spirit: The more you lean on His help, the more help you receive. The more you acknowledge your need, the more strength is released. It’s like God leans in when we lean in. James 4:8 Says “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” Help is released when pride steps aside.
What You Can Do Now?
- Name it honestly: No more hiding or downplaying. Healing begins with truth.
- Starve what feeds the flesh: Is it the music, movies, late-night scrolling, people, or places? If it empowers your flesh, cut it off.
- Build safeguards, not shame traps: Have boundaries that support your decision to walk free. Don’t just say “I won’t”, plan how you won’t.
- Lean into spiritual disciplines: Fast. Pray. Stay in the Word. Feed your spirit till it’s louder than your urges.
- Receive mercy again and again. Lamentations 3:23 says about God’s mercies that: “They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”
