While the names of Laban’s gods aren’t recorded, three deities ruled his home with certainty: Greed, Manipulation, and Trickery. And perhaps, on a lighter note, when Rachel stole those household idols, she might have picked up the god of manipulation too
Laban is one of those names that doesn’t usually come up when we talk about parenting in the Bible. But if we’re going to learn lessons, the kind that keep us from repeating ancient errors, then even the “not-so-obvious” names deserve our attention.
The Bible isn’t a book of perfect people. It’s filled with the good, the bad, the messy, and everything in between. That’s why it’s a manual for life. It teaches us through the stories of people who missed it, so we don’t have to.
Today, we look at Laban. As a father. A boss. A brother. A man.
Let’s start at the beginning: Laban was Rebekah’s brother. Remember her? Isaac’s wife. The one who was found by Abraham’s servant at the well. When they came to take her away, it was Laban who gave her out in marriage (Genesis 24:29–61).
So far, so good, right?
At first glance, he seemed like the brother who cared about family. But as the chapters unfold, so does Laban’s true character. And what we see is not noble. What’s especially disheartening is that the object of his scheming wasn’t a stranger, it was Jacob, his own nephew. The son of the very woman he had once proudly sent off to marry.
It beats me….
How do you become so shrewd, so desperate for gain, that you willingly manipulate your own blood? How did Laban, the seemingly kind brother (uncle), become the manipulative man who would use the lives of his daughters as bargaining chips?
The answer lies in one thing: a heart corrupted by the love of money.
This is why we are told to guard our hearts, because out of it flow the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). When you fail to guard your heart against materialism, it’s only a matter of time before the love of money takes root.
“For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:10)
The greedy bring ruin to their households, but the one who hates bribes will live. (Proverbs 15:27)
Once that love seeps in, it doesn’t just sit quietly, it begins to reshape a person. When a man starts to crave, chase, and bow to money, he becomes capable of all manner of vices, even those he once thought himself above. People become tools. Family becomes strategy. And the heart grows cold and unmoved.
That was Laban….A man whose priorities got so twisted under the weight of his own desires that he was willing to trade his daughters and cheat his nephew to feed his appetite for wealth.
A Father with Twisted Values
Laban didn’t just love wealth, he idolized it. Jacob came seeking refuge and a wife; Laban saw a free laborer he could exploit.
What kind of father sets up both of his daughters in a deceitful marriage plan just to secure another seven years of labor?
What kind of man changes his son-in-law’s wages ten times?
What kind of man runs after Jacob, not because he misses him, but because his household gods were stolen? (Genesis 31:19)
Laban didn’t care about people. He cared about profit. He modeled manipulation instead of honor. He prioritized control over relationships. And as a result, his household became a theatre of mistrust.
That he even had idols in a family tied to the Abrahamic promise is telling. That Rachel stole them suggests these idols held significance, even if unspoken. He spiritually misled his family. The presence of those gods revealed a heart not fully surrendered to God.
Children imitate what we revere, not just what we say. If we build double altars, one for God and another for mammon, culture, or convenience, our children will very likely inherit confusion.
A Culture of Trickery
Here’s the thing: this wasn’t just about Laban. It felt generational.
Rebekah tricked her husband.
She manipulated her son Jacob.
Jacob tricked Esau.
Laban tricked Jacob.
Leah and Rachel were manipulative.
We don’t know what kind of home Laban and Rebekah grew up in. Not much is said about their parents. But clearly, manipulation was part of their family dynamic. Trickery doesn’t fall from the sky, it’s learned. It’s seen. It’s absorbed. And then it gets passed down.
Laban’s daughters; Leah and Rachel may not have deceived Jacob the way their father did, but their tactics were clear: emotional games, competition, silent bargains. All just to win the love of a man who was himself shaped by his own broken upbringing.
“Give me children, or I die!” Rachel cried (Genesis 30:1).
“Tonight he will sleep with me because I have paid for him with my son’s mandrakes,” Leah said (Genesis 30:15–16).
This sounds like two women who were raised in an environment where you fight for affection. Possibly because they watched a father who never modeled honor or healthy love.
Daughters Raised in Dysfunction
Let’s pause and imagine Leah and Rachel growing up under Laban, a man who controlled, manipulated, and used people for gain. What happens when children grow up in a house like that?
They become anxious.
They fight for love instead of receiving it.
They learn to manipulate instead of communicate.
They don’t feel safe, even in their own homes.
And sadly, they repeat what they once resented.
Leah likely internalized rejection and a need to perform for affection.
Rachel, though favored, still felt insecure, reflecting her father’s drive to control outcomes.
Both sisters resorted to emotional bargains and superstitious practices (like mandrakes) to gain what their hearts longed for. This isn’t just a story of sibling rivalry. It’s the fruit of a dysfunctional home.
What Are We Really Passing Down?
Sometimes, as parents, we mistake control for leadership. Trickery for wisdom. Manipulation for strength. But we must ask ourselves if this the legacy we want to pass down?’
Our children are watching. They may not say a word. But they’re learning and what they learn… they’ll live.
So What Do We Learn From Laban?
- The love of money and power corrupts love.
- Family culture is passed down.
- What we worship spills into our homes. Idolatry doesn’t stay private. It leaks into how we parent, lead, and live.
- Vices and patterns can run in families, until someone meets God and breaks the cycle.
- Control breeds manipulation.
- If our children don’t feel heard, they’ll find twisted ways to be seen.
For Us as Parents Today
We may not be swindling our sons-in-law or hoarding household idols, but what patterns are we normalizing in our homes?
- Do we chase money at the expense of our children’s peace?
- Do we model manipulation instead of healthy communication?
- Do we speak about God but quietly serve another altar?
- Saying “God” isn’t enough. Our children follow who we are, not just what we preach.
