169 | One Person’s Decision Can Save or Destroy a Family (Abigail and Nabal)

When you hear the name Abigail, you might not immediately think of parenting. Scripture briefly tells us she had a son by David, named Chileab (also called Daniel in 1 Chronicles 3:1) but not much else is said about her motherhood. Yet even without her parenting details, Abigail teaches us that your decisions can either protect or endanger your household.

Abigail wasn’t yet a mother (at least we are not told if she was) when her husband, Nabal, acted foolishly and put their entire household at risk (1 Samuel 25:3,25). David, furious at Nabal’s disrespect, gathered his men and vowed to wipe out every male in Nabal’s house (1 Samuel 25:22).

It took one woman’s wisdom to stand in the gap and prevent bloodshed. Abigail responded with speed, humility, and understanding. She interceded, took responsibility for what she didn’t cause, and said the right words to defuse a deadly situation (1 Samuel 25:18–31). Her action preserved every life in her home.

Imagine what would have happened if Abigail had been passive, proud, or indifferent or too timid to rise in wisdom and intercession. She and everyone in her household would have perished.

Let Me Tell You a Story…

Some months after I gave birth to my second son, someone told me a woman was upset with me. She felt I didn’t want her to carry my baby. I was surprised, honestly, a bit upset, because proximity made that practically impossible. More than that, I was going through a terribly hard time. I was emotionally and mentally drained. Barely hanging on.

So when I heard that, I thought, But she should understand… she knows what I’ve been dealing with…. It felt unfair. But I knew better than to sit in my head too long. The next day, I did what I sensed the Holy Spirit was nudging me to do. I walked up to her, every ounce of pride and esteem screaming as I went and I knelt down. I apologized sincerely (without trying to justify my actions or explain her feelings and mine) and followed it up with a gift.

It wasn’t easy. But I didn’t do it just for me.
I did it for my son.
I did it for his safety.
I did it in obedience to God.

I know God’s hand is not short. But do your part to make your case easy before Him (I hope this makes sense)

This isn’t to scare anyone, but in this part of the world, some battles are just not worth fighting. Not everything is worth proving a point over, especially not when it risks spiritual backlash. Sometimes, wisdom looks like getting down on your knees and apologising, and peace sometimes comes by taking the lower seat.

Parenting Means You Can’t Afford Recklessness

Abigail shows us that you don’t wait until children arrive to start protecting them. You build the kind of character that safeguards others, even before you become responsible for them. She acted wisely, and that wisdom created a future for her family.

By contrast, Nabal acted as if he had no one or nothing to lose. His pride and carelessness endangered everyone under his roof. As parents, we must not live like that. Once you have children, your decisions are no longer just about you. The consequences of your actions, whether good or bad can affect your children’s safety, both spiritually and physically. The story of Abigail reminds us that the safety of a child often depends on the maturity and discernment of parents.

Your spiritual choices today matter. Bad choices can open doors for trouble to enter a family. Just like the Israelites who rebelled against the Lord’s anointed Moses and lost not only their lives but their entire households (Numbers 16:27–33), a parent’s recklessness can place a child (or family) in danger.

How to Safeguard Your Children Today

1. Don’t make impulsive decisions.
   Whether it’s taking a risky job, entering a bad relationship, or engaging in conflict, ask yourself: Is this safe for my children (or family)?
2. Guard your spiritual life.
   Your prayer life, obedience to God, and alignment with His will aren’t just personal disciplines, they are shields over your children.
3. Repent quickly and break ungodly patterns.
   Some parents carry anger, envy, addiction, or sexual immorality and pass it on unknowingly. Repent and seek healing. You’re not just breaking chains for yourself.
4. Choose peace over pride in your marriage or relationships.
   Don’t let pride cause unnecessary wars in your home. Abigail didn’t try to prove a point; she preserved peace.
5. Surround your family with intercession.
   Abigail’s wisdom and intercession preserved the lives of her family members. in the same way, we must ceaselessly intercede for our children and create a spiritual covering of prayer and godly influence for our homes.

Abigail’s story teaches us that wisdom isn’t optional for parents, it’s a necessity. Your children are depending on your discernment, your humility, your restraint, and your alignment with God. It may not always be convenient, but your choices are either exposing or covering your children.
Choose to cover. Choose to protect. Choose to be wise.

As parents, we can’t afford to chase money, fame, or comfort at the expense of our children. In today’s world where everyone is hustling for stability, sometimes at any cost, even the cost of their family, Abigail and Nabal remind us that it’s never just about us. Nabal, especially, shows us how dangerous it is to be reckless and self-absorbed. He had no idea how far his foolishness would go, but it nearly wiped out his entire household. Real success as a parent isn’t just in what we gain, but sometimes in what our children are spared from, because we chose wisdom.

Your parenting journey may not look like Abigail’s, but the principle still holds: Wisdom preserves. Foolishness destroys.

• Will your decisions today build a legacy your children can walk boldly in?
• Will your humility and faith stand in the gap even when the problem wasn’t caused by you?
• Will you be the Abigail in your lineage whose wisdom and intercession preserved lives (destinies)?

Parenting isn’t just about cuddles and corrections. It’s a mantle of preservation. A calling to guard generations with insight, sacrifice, and godly discernment. Let’s choose wisdom, because it doesn’t just save the moment. It saves the future.