When the Bible Becomes Your Parenting Manual
Parenting can sometimes feel like fumbling in the dark, figuring things out as we go. Many parents admit that with their first child, they weren’t exactly sure what they were doing. They simply did what seemed to work, a spoon of trying, a dash of hoping, adjusting, and many sprinkles of second-guessing.
Some even jokingly call their firstborns “the guinea fowls” or “the lab rats” of their parenting journey. And maybe they’re right.
With the second child, parents often feel more aware, more intentional, less agitated. A little more confident.
They’ve learned, through tears, prayer, and experience, to be calmer, more put together, and more emotionally present. Less agitated. More in control of their emotions.
This reveals that the process of learning and evolving is human and sometimes, we grow by experience. But what if we could grow not just by trial and error, but also through the stories of those who walked the road of parenting before us?
The Bible is not just a book of stories, it’s a rich manual filled with real people, real families, and real decisions to help us, inspire us and guide us so that we don’t parent blindly. Many of them were parents like us. Some got it right. Some got it terribly wrong. And their children lived with the consequences, whether good or bad.
God didn’t hide these stories from us. He laid them bare. So we can learn. So we can avoid their mistakes. So we can be wiser.
Romans 15:4: “Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.”
1 Corinthians 10:11: “These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age.”
Whether you’re parenting in strength or from a place of pain, there’s grace here for you.
That’s what this new series is about; Lessons from Parents in the Bible.
Over the next few weeks, we’ll walk through the lives of parents in Scripture, both the celebrated and the forgotten.
We’ll uncover the implications of their choices, how their actions impacted their children, and what God would have us learn from them.
How some of their personal choices, sometimes private, spilled into the lives of their children. We’ll take both the good and the bad. We’ll look at warning signs. We’ll also look at examples of hope.
We’ll remind ourselves that it is possible to partner with God in raising children who will walk in His ways.
So as we begin, I encourage you to slow down. Don’t rush through these reflections. Let God speak. Let Him correct, teach, and guide. These stories are not geared towards making you feel guilty or overwhelmed. It’s about equipping, encouraging and grounding you in the principles and word of God.
You’re not parenting alone, and you don’t have to parent blind.
Let’s learn together.
Let’s grow together.
Adam and Eve: Parenting Outside Eden
Many times, we think of Adam and Eve only in terms of their fall. Some people even hold a personal grudge against Eve for eating the fruit in the first place and against Adam for just standing there and letting it happen. They blame all the pain, suffering, and heartbreak in this world on that one decision: eating the only fruit God said not to eat.
But I believe that, if Eve hadn’t fallen for the enemy’s treachery, it would only have been a matter of time before one of their descendants did, because the enemy was never going to give up. Scripture says Satan goes about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). He was always going to keep trying.
So rather than continue playing the blame game, maybe we can learn something more useful: what it means to fall and still raise children under God’s mercy.
After Eden, they had to keep living. They had to parent, outside of perfection, outside of the garden, outside of the ease they once knew. That’s a hard place to begin raising children.
Their first son, Cain, became a murderer. Their second son, Abel, was the victim. Can you imagine the grief? One child buried, another marked and exiled. This is the heartbreak of the first parents.
But the story didn’t end there.
There is so much to learn from them.
Their story teaches us:
When God gives an instruction, don’t entertain “maybes” or “what ifs.”
Don’t try to explain it away. Just obey.
Negotiating with the devil is the surest way to get off track. He rarely shows up wearing black robes and scary horns. Sometimes, he comes through the face or voice of a carnal family member, someone who unknowingly yields to emotions that are against the Spirit, bad pressure, or fear. And if we’re not spiritually alert, we drop our guard.
That’s when the enemy twists God’s words, questions what we once knew clearly, and slowly influences us to settle for far less than what God intended.
As parents, we must be on guard, the enemy is constantly moving about like a roaring lion looking for whom he may devour. Hold on to God’s word and like John Macarthur once said “make sure satan has to climb over a lot of scriptures to get to you”.
Resist the devil with the word of God and He will flee from you. (James 4:7, Matthew 4:10).
God Still Gave Them Children
Even after their disobedience, God didn’t kill them off.. He clothed them (Genesis 3:21) and even blessed them with children. He had mercy.
This lesson is especially for the parent grieving the loss of a child to the world; a child who has wandered, rebelled, or walked away from God. Like the father of the prodigal son, don’t stop praying. Don’t stop loving. Don’t stop interceding. And by the grace of God, you will get your child back.
Charles Spurgeon said: “we must never cease to pray for our children until they cease to breathe. No case is hopeless while Jesus Christ lives”
They will return and when they do, welcome them with open arms. Clothe them with the Word of God. Dress their wounds with the healing balm of your soothing words. Nurture them back to health in Jesus Christ.
This is not the end of their story. And it’s not the end of yours either.
Sin Starts Close to Home
The first murder ever recorded wasn’t between strangers. It happened within a family unit. Brother killed brother. The story of Cain teaches us a vital lesson: We are not just raising children to act right. We are raising children to be right, in their heart.
Cain brought an offering to God, but it was rejected, not because it wasn’t enough, but because his heart wasn’t right (Genesis 4:5–7). God saw it and warned him but Cain didn’t listen.
This is why we must go beyond the surface with our children. Beyond the “Yes, mummy” Beyond the polite smiles at church. Beyond the straight A’s or good behavior.
We must contend for their hearts. Pray for it. Pay attention to it. Disciple it. It’s not enough to raise a “good child.” Are they becoming a godly one? Are they becoming children whose hearts are soft and yielded before God? That’s where the real work is.
And that’s where the enemy often tries to strike first, close to home.
It Doesn’t End at Grief
Adam and Eve knew grief, they must have had it as bad as it can get. It’s like they went from a hundred percent ‘flex life’ to 0, to chaos and pain. One son was murdered. The other, banished. And yet, they didn’t stop living. They didn’t stop trusting God. The Bible says Eve conceived again and gave birth to a son named Seth.
She said: “Adam made love to his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth, saying, ‘God has granted me another child in place of Abel, since Cain killed him” (Genesis 4:25)
Even in pain, she acknowledged God. She didn’t deny her loss, but she didn’t deny His faithfulness either.
Her story teaches us that grief is not the end of the story. Even when we have failed, Even when our children have wandered far, Even when it feels like all has been loss, God is still able to give new beginnings.
So if you’re a parent grieving the loss of a child, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, don’t stop living. Keep praying. Keep trusting. Keep walking with God. And when He gives you another seed, another opportunity, a moment of healing, or even the return of a lost child, receive it with hope, not fear.
Finally,
Are you parenting in a hard place?
Outside of ease? Outside of Eden?
Have you made some decisions you feel set your children on the wrong path, and you don’t know how to get them back on track?
Let the story of the very first parents to ever walk the face of the earth inspire faith in your heart, that both you and your child (or children) can begin anew in Christ Jesus.
God is in the business of redeeming people, and He is fully capable of drawing the heart of your child back to Him. Did humanity suffer because of their disobedience? Yes.
Their story is proof that the journey may begin in brokenness—
but with God, it doesn’t have to end there. Keep walking. Keep trusting. Keep parenting, even outside of Eden.
