You did everything “right.” You followed every instruction, checked every spiritual box, and yet the outcome still broke you. It felt like betrayal, deeply personal, deeply painful.
You are not alone.
In the Bible, we find raw, honest examples of this kind of struggle:
• Job, who poured out his grief and frustration to God without holding back (Job 3, Job 7)
• Naomi, who told others to call her “Mara,” meaning bitter, after her hopes were shattered (Ruth 1:20)
• David, who cried out in the Psalms, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)
A Moment on the Mountain
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking on ‘the mountain of family’. At the end of the session, during a moment of prayer, I sensed God prompting me to say, “I am sorry.” It made no sense logically, but I obeyed anyway.
Unknown to me, one lady heard that simple phrase and froze in disbelief. After everything she had endured, she could not fathom that all God would say was“I am sorry.”
Initially, she intended to confront me angrily after the session. Honestly, I would not have blamed her, her hurt was real, her wounds ran deep. Thankfully, she reconsidered and instead spoke calmly. Yet beneath her calmness, the pain was palpable, all too familiar to me.
It is a pain that comes from years upon years of being wounded by the very people who were supposed to nurture, love, and be your first model of God. Family wounds often cut deepest because they hit closest to home.
Even more challenging is when, after barely escaping these cuts that come from such heart breaks, God sends you right back to that same mountain to minister healing and hope to others going through the same pain. Doesn’t God indeed have a profound sense of humour?
Comforted to Comfort Others
What began as a passion to do things differently, to give what I never received, turned out to be a calling. It was not just about wanting better for myself; it was about offering to others the very comfort I had received from God.
This scripture soon became one place in the bible I live and breathe in:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)
God entrusted me with the strength, grace, and wisdom not just to survive my trials but to thrive, and then to turn around and strengthen others.
Jesus Christ speaking to Peter said:
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:31–32)
The strength and grace you receive to endure your storms, whether in family, business, or life’s many battles, are given so that when you prevail, you can help others prevail too. Perhaps you will even prevent some from ever having to navigate those ‘turbulent seas’.
Total Surrender: When Your Life Becomes God’s Message (Hosea and Isaiah)
How do you think Hosea felt when he, a prophet of the Most High God, was told by the Lord to marry a prostitute? (Hosea 1:2)
And not just that. He was instructed to name his children words that carried the sting of judgment:
• Jezreel, symbolizing the coming punishment on Israel (Hosea 1:4)
• Lo-Ruhamah, meaning “Not Loved” or “No Mercy” (Hosea 1:6)
• Lo-Ammi, meaning “Not My People” (Hosea 1:9)
These names weren’t cute or endearing. They were heavy, weighty, and loaded with divine meaning. His family became a walking prophecy, his home was a pulpit for God’s message.
Now consider Isaiah. God gave his second son a name that foretold the looming consequences of his people’s sin – even before he was conceived.
“Then I made love to the prophetess, and she conceived and gave birth to a son. And the Lord said to me, ‘Name him Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz.’” (Isaiah 8:3). His son’s name was a message: “Quick to the plunder, swift to the spoil.” A prophetic warning of the coming Assyrian invasion.
Isaiah’s first son, Shear-Jashub, meant “A remnant shall return” (Isaiah 7:3), a name that signified hope and preservation of some people who would survive God’s judgment.
These men did not get to choose cute baby names. Their children were signs and symbols in Israel, just as Isaiah himself declared: “Here am I, and the children the Lord has given me. We are signs and symbols in Israel from the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 8:18)
This confession was not made casually. It was born of deep, soul-level surrender. A posture of obedience that handed over not just their lips, but their lives, their marriages, their children, even their reputations.
And look what came out of it.
Today, we teach their stories. We draw from their courage. We quote their words. We even name our children after them. Their names are forever on our lips. But it came at a cost. It was the price of total and complete surrender.
The kind of surrender that says, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)
The kind that whispers through tears, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (Job 13:15)
The kind that doesn’t always understand the assignment, but obeys anyway.
May we be found that faithful. May we surrender not just our moments, but our entire story, family, name, reputation, everything, into the hands of the God who writes eternal purpose through surrendered lives.
Making Peace with the Call
Now? I have made peace with the truth that someone must go first. Someone has to bear the brunt, endure the shadows, and illuminate the path for others. Not only have I accepted this call, I now consider it my highest privilege and honor.
But, friend, this mindset did not come easily. It did not arrive quickly. It emerged slowly, painfully, through tearful nights, countless prayers, and the gentle yet firm work of the Holy Spirit.
If I were asked whether I would change my past, my trials, my circumstances, I would say no, because in them, I found the discipline, motivation, and growth I needed. Without them, I might have remained complacent or undriven.
If there is one thing I would change, it would be how I responded to God’s call, to say yes more quickly, to set aside fear and doubt faster, to step out boldly without hesitation.
From Anger to Gratitude
So now, I am not angry anymore. I am grateful. And I pray that this is the place you come to by the end of this reflection.
Today, I encourage you: bring your disappointment to God without guilt. Let Him know how much it hurts. Pour out your heart. Cry, shout, whisper. Be honest. God can handle it.
Every time you bring your pain to Him, something shifts inside. You feel lighter, freer, more hopeful. God is not distant or uncaring. Even in His silence, He is sovereign. Even in the waiting, He is working. Even when answers do not come on your timeline, He remains your refuge and strength.
Remember what the psalmist said:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
And Jesus Christ says to you:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
The Way Forward
Make the Bible more than just a book, make it your lifeline. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Feed on it daily until it transforms your mindset and helps you see yourself through the lens of Jesus Christ, bathed in the truth, love, and peace of God.
Find a community of trusted friends or mentors who can offer biblical counsel, help you recognize God’s hand in your life, and walk alongside you in prayer and support. Let them embrace you, encourage you, and stand with you on your journey.
God loves you. He sees every part of you, the pain, the struggle, the broken places. Let that pain draw you closer to Him. Let it lead you into His healing embrace, and watch how He transforms you with a love beyond what you can imagine.
He specializes in making white what was red, brightening what was dull, and restoring beauty out of brokenness.
Love you!
