The Family Is the Frontline
I am one of those who believes that the most important unit in society is the family. Time and time again, we have seen the devil target families, marriages, and children, all in a bid to wreck them at home before they step out and wreak havoc on his kingdom.
So he fights good marriages, unity and stability at home.
And when the home front is in the thick of war, when parents are barely hanging on, he strikes again. He knows it’s very difficult to raise soldiers for Christ when the home is dysfunctional and in a state of neglect and confusion.
When we fail or succeed as parents, we are not just impacting our children or our households.
We are impacting the nation (either positively or negatively).
One man’s (Eli) failure at home cost not just his family, but an entire nation. His passive parenting opened the door to a national crisis.
Let’s talk about Eli.
Eli was a priest. A man who had the weight of Israel’s spiritual leadership on his shoulders. He lived in the temple, ministered before the Lord, and raised young Samuel within the sacred spaces of God’s house. On the surface, he seemed like a man who feared God.
The story of Eli and his sons is one of those very sad stories you read about and can’t get out of your mind. It’s the kind that makes you introspect, especially if you’re a parent. Eli, like Jacob, paid heavily for his silence. His unwillingness to correct cost not just him, but his legacy.
His story forces us to ask: Can someone serve in the house of God and still fail in their own house?
The answer, as we see in Eli, is yes.
Eli’s story is one that teaches ministers of the gospel that: if you serve in any spiritual capacity, this is not a story to skim over. It’s a mirror.
His story is one of contrast: a man who preserved the outer structures of priesthood but neglected the inner call of fatherhood. It reminds us that public anointing does not excuse private negligence.
That raising a Samuel in the temple does not undo the damage of overlooking Hophni and Phinehas at home.
That being kind, nice, and well-meaning is not the same as being obedient to God’s demand for righteous parenting.
Strong in Public, Weak in Private
Many parents (especially men) are like Eli, strong in public, weak in private.
Revered at work or in ministry, but disengaged at home.
They provide financially but not emotionally.
They instruct others but fail to shepherd their own.
Eli trained Samuel in the temple but lost his own children at home. Samuel heard the voice of God under Eli’s roof, but Eli’s sons defiled the altar.
It’s a tragedy: that someone else’s child could thrive under your guidance, while your own children groan under your silence and neglect. Imagine a little boy under your roof, kneeling beside his bed, hungry to hear from God, and just a wall away, your own sons mocking that same God, trampling on His altars, untouched by your correction.
It’s like a pastor or spiritual leader whose congregation is being transformed, whose church is growing and alive, but whose own children or household are being lost to sin, indifference, or worldliness. Eli’s sons were in the Tabernacle, handling sacred things, but they were sons of Belial. Meanwhile, a young boy was lying down in the presence of the Lord and hearing His voice.
His story is a call to every parent, especially spiritual leaders, to not neglect the priesthood of their own homes while tending the altar of public ministry. Because at the end of the day, what will it profit if the whole church is ablaze with revival, but your child can’t even recognize God’s voice?
Little wonder, Paul makes it clear in his instructions for choosing church leaders that a man’s ability to lead God’s people begins at home. He must manage his own household well, ensuring his children obey him with respect. For as Paul warns, if a man cannot take care of his own family, how will he be able to care for the church of God? (1 Timothy 3:4-5).
He says specifically that a man desiring the office of overseer, desires a noble task. But he must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
Parenting Is an Active Calling
Parenting is not part-time ministry. It’s one of your primary assignment as a parent. If your leadership skips your household, it has already failed. The role of a parent is not passive. It is active engagement to teach, correct., model godliness, hold your children accountable and to represent God’s voice and hand in the home.
When parents are absent or emotionally unavailable, they leave their children to be discipled by their environment, friends, the internet, media, and the streets. Eli’s failure wasn’t that he didn’t love his sons. It’s that he didn’t lead them.
In Part 2, we’ll look more closely at what Eli actually did, and failed to do, and how his love, though genuine, fell short of God’s demands for parental leadership.
