“Through [skillful and godly] wisdom a house [a life, a home, a family] is built, And by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation], And by knowledge its rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches.” (Proverbs 24:3–4)
I always say: do most of the work at home, where the pressure isn’t as intense, and the world’s eyes aren’t on you. At home, you have the space to teach rather than just react. The beautiful thing about home is that it’s a place where you can truly slow down, take a breath, and model the kind of emotional regulation you want to see in your kids.
When things get out of hand in public, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed or that you’re doing something wrong. But remember, those moments are a signal for us to go back home, reassess, and keep working.
Just as storms test the strength of a structure, life’s pressures, emotions, and challenges will test the strength of the foundation we’ve built in our children. And when cracks appear, there’s no shame in needing to try again. That’s what parenting is, learning and growing with our kids. Parenting is not perfection, it’s partnership. With God, with our children, and with the process of becoming.
Boundaries, Testing, and Consistency
Let me be honest with you, every child is going to test boundaries, especially in their younger years. That’s part of their development. Don’t give up on them. Don’t label them with names God never gave them. God doesn’t define us by our weaknesses or sins, He calls us according to His purpose, not our shortcomings.
Testing limits is how they figure out what’s okay and what’s not. But if you’re not firm, consistent, and patient with your boundaries, your child might start thinking they can get away with things, whether in public or at home. Kids need to know what’s expected of them. They need to know that there’s a steady, reliable response when they push boundaries. If you give in to their tantrums because you’re tired or just want the moment to end, they might start to believe that throwing a fit gets them what they want.
I know it’s hard. When you’re in public and all you want is peace, it’s tempting to give in. But what you allow, you teach. So even when it’s hard, even when you’re exhausted, stay consistent. Set the boundary and stay firm. In the long run, your child will learn that their emotions are real, but they don’t get to control the situation.
The Long-Term Goal: Emotional Resilience
Ultimately, the goal isn’t just to stop the tantrum. It’s to teach your child how to manage their emotions, how to deal with frustration, anger, disappointment, and even joy, in a way that’s healthy and controlled. We’re not looking for perfection; we’re looking for progress. And this progress starts at home.
The emotional regulation they learn now, through our gentle, consistent guidance, will help them later on. Whether they’re dealing with big life challenges or the everyday struggles of growing up, they’ll have the tools they need to handle their emotions without letting them control them.
What if nothing you say or do stops the meltdown?
You’re not failing. You’re sowing. Training a child to manage emotions isn’t a one-time fix, it’s a long-term formation process. If you match their chaos, you double the confusion. Sometimes they will continue to cry or sulk for 10 more minutes. But they’ll still remember you didn’t lose control. That memory becomes a quiet template. One day, it will surface.
There were times I genuinely didn’t know what to do. My son would just go off, screaming, kicking, completely inconsolable. And I’d just stand there, looking at him, thinking, “What do you even want right now?” It wasn’t always anger I felt. Sometimes it was confusion. Helplessness. Even a little fear that I was missing something important.
There were moments I tried all the “right” things, talked softly, corrected gently, waited patiently and nothing worked. Sometimes, I’d just stop trying to figure it out. I’d kneel, pick him up, and hold him close. I wouldn’t say much. I’d just hold him until he stopped.
Until the storm passed. Until his breathing slowed and his little body relaxed. And maybe that didn’t look like strategy. Maybe it didn’t sound like a textbook response. But that hug was ministry. It said, “Even when you’re out of control, I won’t let you go, you’re safe with me, even when you feel unsafe inside yourself.”
Sometimes the breakthrough doesn’t come through fixing. It comes through holding. And to be honest, sometimes that hug healed us both.
So, that tantrum may not stop when you speak calmly. He may roll louder. She may even throw a shoe. But if every time it happens, you still show up with the same gentle but consistent, firm authority and you don’t give into their demand, the child’s brain begins to recognize a rhythm:
- “Mummy won’t give in to tantrums.”
- “Daddy always helps me name my feelings.”
- “They stay calm, even when I’m storming.”
Think of emotional regulation like planting seeds. They don’t sprout immediately, but with consistency, prayer, and grace, they eventually take root.
You’re not alone, Parent with the Holy Spirit.
Some children have stronger temperaments. Some are wired differently. This is where prayer and Holy Spirit partnership becomes vital:
- “Lord, teach me how to shepherd this particular child.”
- “Show me what this outburst is really about.”
- There were times all I could say was Jesus Christ, please have mercy on me!
Our Role as Parents
We are not just behavior-correctors. We are emotion shepherds. We’re not trying to raise perfect children, but children who know how to:
- Feel what they feel
- Bring those feelings under the Lordship of Christ
- Grow in self-control with the help of the Holy Spirit
Be Kind to Yourself, Parents
Parenting is tough. We don’t always get it right. There are moments when we lose our patience or feel like we’re failing. But even in those moments, we are still doing the work. You’re teaching your child through every response, every moment of discipline, and every show of love. It’s all part of the journey.
So, next time you’re in the middle of an emotional blowout, whether at home or in public, take a deep breath. You’re not alone. Keep doing the best you can, and trust that the work you’re putting in now will pay off in the future. You’re helping your child grow into someone who can handle the ups and downs of life with emotional strength and resilience. You’ve got this. One small moment at a time. You’re not training for one moment. You’re building a pattern.
And even if they still make mistakes (they will!), we can confidently say: “By prayer, teaching, and example, I’ve equipped my child with the inner strength to rule, not be ruled.”
Finally, Hold Tightly to God’s Word
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
This is not just advice, it is God’s promise to us parents, these are words of hope and comfort to any parent partnering with God to raise children who bring Him glory.
As parents, we must learn to insist on the fulfillment of that promise over our children’s lives.
Many times when I’m praying, I find myself saying,
“Lord, please keep these things in these children. Your Word says they will not depart from the path we set them on. Let it be so.”
These are not empty words. They are God-breathed, full of life, full of fire, full of power.
They carry the ability to shape destinies and shift the course of a child’s future.
So even when it looks like your efforts are falling to the ground, keep speaking. Keep declaring. Keep sowing.
Because God’s Word?
It never returns void.
Confessions for Parents
(Declare these daily, especially in moments of weakness or uncertainty.)
- “Through wisdom a house is built…” (Proverbs 24:3–4)
I build my home through the wisdom of God, not emotions. By understanding, I establish it on a sound foundation, and by knowledge, I fill it with lasting treasures of peace, love, and godly values. - “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)
God called me to this sacred role of parenting, and He is faithful to help me through it. - “Be steadfast, immovable… knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)
My consistency and sacrifice are not in vain. I will see fruit in due season. - “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” (Philippians 4:5)
I choose gentle strength, not harsh reaction. My children experience God’s peace through my tone and presence. - “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God… and it will be given.” (James 1:5)
I do not parent blindly. I receive daily wisdom from the Holy Spirit to raise each of my children intentionally. - “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21)
I speak life over my children. I call them what God calls them, not what their mistakes suggest. - “The Lord gives strength to His people.” (Psalm 29:11)
When I feel weak, the Lord strengthens me. I do not parent alone, I parent with God. - “Train up a child in the way he should go…” (Proverbs 22:6)
My training is not wasted. God’s promise stands, I will see fruit in my children’s lives. - “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7)
Even when I don’t see results, I know seeds are taking root. I walk by faith, trusting God’s invisible work. - “The Word of God… will not return void.” (Isaiah 55:11)
Every scripture I pray, every truth I declare over my children, is producing fruit, it will accomplish its purpose.
Declarations Over Children
(These can be prayed or spoken aloud over them, even while they sleep.)
- “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)
You are not too much. You are handcrafted by God, full of purpose and divine design. - “God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
You are learning to rule over your emotions. You are not ruled by fear or chaos, but by love and self-control. - “You will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’” (Isaiah 30:21)
You will not be confused. God is guiding you with His voice every step of your journey. - “The fruit of the Spirit is self-control.” (Galatians 5:22–23)
You are growing in self-control by the help of the Holy Spirit. You learn to pause, reflect, and respond. - “The righteous falls seven times and rises again.” (Proverbs 24:16)
Even when you make mistakes, you rise again. You are resilient and teachable. - “My sheep hear my voice…” (John 10:27)
You hear the voice of God early. Your heart is tuned to His Spirit. - “Children are a heritage from the Lord.” (Psalm 127:3)
You are a blessing, not a burden. A gift from the Lord, entrusted into my care. - “Let the little children come to me…” (Matthew 19:14)
You are not too young to know Jesus. Your heart is open to His truth and love. - “The Lord shall establish you as a holy people to Himself.” (Deuteronomy 28:9)
You are set apart for God. You belong to Him. Your life brings Him glory. - “The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him… the spirit of wisdom, understanding, counsel, and might.” (Isaiah 11:2)
The Spirit of the Lord rests upon you. You are growing in wisdom, understanding, and strength from above.
