“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)
One of the most underrated virtues that shape a child’s life is respect and honour.
I’ve seen doors slam shut for people, not because they lacked competence or beauty or brilliance, but simply because they were disrespectful. They snubbed the old woman at the gate or dismissed the security man at the entrance, unaware that the very person they disregarded had the ear of the person they were seeking favour from.
The honour Abigail carried in her heart for David, expressed through her open respect, was the very thing that saved her life and her entire household. At a time when David was moments away from destroying her family in a fit of justified rage over Nabal’s dishonour and disrespect, her reverence turned the tide. (1 Samuel 25:23–35)
Respect and honor are not optional. They are foundational bricks we must lay in our children’s lives.
Cultural Gestures Are Not Always Heart Postures
“These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” (Matthew 15:8)
We sometimes mistake cultural expressions for the virtue itself. Saying “uncle”, “aunty”, “sister”, while spitting venomous words isn’t respect. Yoruba people (no offense intended) will school you on how to cleverly lace the most insulting words with honorifics.
True respect is from the heart, and it is rooted in humility. Honour is not what you say or how you look when you say it. It’s who you are inside.
It’s not enough to teach children to say “sir” or “ma.” We must also cultivate the heart of respect, and that heart is humility.
“Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble…’” (1 Peter 5:5)
Your child can bow, kneel, greet, and say all the right words. But if their heart is proud, dismissive, or condescending, that is not honor. That is performance. We are not raising performers. We are raising children who love God and love people genuinely.
I was raised to never pass by an elderly person without greeting them. At first, it felt like a chore, but over time, I embraced it. As a young child, I saw firsthand the way people’s faces lit up whenever I acknowledged them with a greeting. Their “Pẹlẹ, ọmọ dáadáa,” or “God bless you, my dear,” accompanied by the warmth in their tone, made me fall in love with this practice.
The Heart Behind the Gesture
Humility isn’t a trait we can force into our children. It’s modelled. It’s caught more than taught. When they see how we speak to our staff, how we greet the elderly, how we handle offence, they learn. And when we pray with them and for them, God begins to instill these virtues in their hearts.
As a mother, I’m big on teaching respect. Every time we meet someone, I ask Ezekiel, “Did you say good afternoon to Uncle?” At first, it was mechanical. Sometimes, I still have to drag the words out of him, but he’s getting better at it. In fact, when we take strolls, you might hear him shouting from across the road, “Good afternoon, sir!” 😄
He may not understand the weight of it yet, but we keep laying the brick.
Because respect opens doors.
Respect wins hearts.
And respect, genuine, humble respect, is rare.
Respect and Honour Are for Everyone
As parents, it’s important to teach our children to respect and honour everyone, not just their parents, but all people, regardless of age, status, or background.
Teach them to respect authority.
Teach them that authorities, whether in the home, at school, in church, or even in the workplace are placed by God. And respecting authority is part of acknowledging God’s order in our lives.
Romans 13:1 says: “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.”
What Does Honour Look Like?
Honour isn’t just respect with perfume. It goes deeper. While respect can be about manners or politeness, honor is about the heart. It’s about value. When you honour someone, you see them through God’s eyes; you acknowledge their worth, whether society does or not.
Honour doesn’t always come naturally. Our children won’t stumble into it. We have to teach it. But before we teach, we must model it.
Jesus modeled honor.
- He honoured His earthly parents, even as the Son of God, He was subject to them (Luke 2:51).
- He honoured God in every decision He made (John 5:19).
- He honoured those who were like children to Him by washing their feet. (John 13:5).
How can we teach our children to honor?
- Model It First: Let your children see you honour your spouse, your parents, your helps, your elders, your subordinates, and strangers. Let them see how you treat those who can give you nothing in return. Let them hear how you speak about people in private. Children are observers and imitators. This is how they catch the spirit of honor.
- Tie It to Scripture, Not Just Culture: While culture gives us expressions of honour; kneeling, greeting, using respectful titles, it is God’s Word that gives it meaning.
Exodus 20:12: “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
This is the first commandment with a promise. When we teach our children to honor us as parents, we are not just teaching them behavior; we are teaching them covenant principles that attract the blessing of longevity. Teaching your child to honor you is obedience to God. You’re doing them a massive favor by helping them walk into the blessing of life. This is a brick you must lay, and lay well. - Don’t Reward Honor, Reinforce Its Righteousness: Honor is not something to be offered because there’s something to be gained. Our children shouldn’t only honor those who give them gifts or who hold a title. They should honour the least as well as the greatest.
1 Peter 2:17 says: “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honour the emperor.”
Honor is rooted in love. And love does not discriminate. - Instill it Through Repetition: When Ezekiel forgets to greet someone, I don’t just shrug it off. I remind him: “Did you say good afternoon to Uncle?”Sometimes it feels like a chore, for both of us 😅, but I insist. Why? Because I’ve seen what honour and respect can unlock. We keep laying the brick. One greeting, one gentle correction, one example at a time. Sometimes my son does it with joy, sometimes as a task, but it’s taking root.
- Pray It Into Their Hearts: You can’t force humility or honour. You can only model it, plant it, and pray it in. Ask the Lord to give your child a tender, teachable, and honoring heart. And as they watch you walk it out, they’ll begin to mirror it in their own way.
Let us raise children who light up rooms, open doors, and attract favour, not with flattery, but with honor. And may they grow into honourable men and women, carriers of a culture heaven celebrates.
Honour Affirmation for Children
I am a child of God.
I honour God with my life.
I honour my parents, my elders, and every person God made.
I treat people with kindness and speak with respect.
I choose to honor, not because I want something, but because it pleases God.
I carry a heart of humility, and I walk in the blessing of honor
